My original plan for this month's article was to take a revised look at Lexapro (see: http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/agor... ). I have changed my opinion about it - at least for myself. I won't deny that when I started taking Lexapro it made a significant difference, but over time I began to experience some very uncomfortable side effects - severe heart burn, pain in my face, dizziness - and I was feeling tired and almost as depressed as before I started. Since I am the world's worst patient, I very foolishly decided to taper off the lexapro on my own. This is a really stupid way to quit, but because I do reiki and am in a position to lie down when I feel bad, I decided to do it on my own. Among my withdrawal symptoms were:
*Significant dizziness - bedroom spinning kind of stuff for a two or three days followed by a lightheadedness that I can only think to describe as being "almost dizzy"
*Tiredness
*Nausea and upset stomach
*Lots of crying
I've started taking an herbal anti-depressant called Sam-e. ( http://my.webmd.com/hw/depression/tp2125... ) I'm still crying a lot, but I do feel a difference since I started taking it, though in these stressful circumstances, it's hard to tell what's depression and what's a response to the situation I'm in. I will write more about Sam-e next time.
Of course some of my weepiness may be attached to the meannness component of my story. Two weeks ago - with no warning and no explanation - my landlady gave 30 days notice to my friend/neighbor and myself. Neither of us saw it coming. We are both quiet, our rents are paid on time. What makes the situation more stunning, more frightening and more traumatic is that the blow was delivered with intense malice. Most of that seems to be directed at my neighbor, but that may be something of an illusion as she is out in the world and I am not. Basically, Diane (landlady) called K (neighbor) at about 9:30 on a Wednesday night and said that she needed to talk to both of us. K asked her if she was ok and the response was along the lines of, "Oh, I'M great, but I'm going to be living here full time from now on and there are going to be some changes." Asked what the meeting was about, she said that she had to have a conversation in person. K set up a meeting time for 6:00 pm the next day. I think the assumption was that we would meet in my apartment, but given the tone of the message and an encounter we had with Diane about six months ago, I didn't want her to come into my space and left a message requesting that we meet in her apartment since she was calling the meeting. She didn't respond to my phone message but came knocking on my door about 20 minutes before the meeting time. When I said that I thought we were meeting upstairs (her place), she said no, we didn't really need a meeting. She would deal with K and then me afterwards. She asked me where K was and I said that I didn't know. Diane went back upstairs to her place and as she was doing that K came around the house and headed up the stairs. Diane started shreiking at her to "get off my porch, get off my porch. Get on the ground," and then gave her a letter saying that she (I got the same letter) has to be out of the apartment by March 12th. Asked why, she responded, "YOU KNOW!" (Neither of us has a clue except that she is drinking very heavily and her behavior seems quite unstable.) The next day when K was out walking her dog, Diane started screaming out the window at her, "Twenty-nine more days!." There was no build up to this, no compaints about noise or anything else. Not to brag, but I'm about as harmless a tenant as you can have. I pay the rent on time, I'm quiet, I only rarely have company, unless you count K, who shares meals with me and watches my tv because she has none of her own. I don't drink, nor do my friends, so even when I do have guests we are pretty demure.
| Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: | View all related messages |
For a complete listing of article comments, questions, and other discussions related to Katherine E. Rabenau's Agoraphobia topic, please visit the Discussions page.