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Endings and Beginnings

© Katherine E. Rabenau

I hope that everyone has had a wonderful holiday season. This is Josie, my neighbor's great-hearted nana-dog. Josie loves everyone and everyone loves Josie - people, cats, other dogs. She is both a joyful and a calming spirit. Josie knows how to live. She loves snow, sliding down hills (I have not actually seen this, but am told that it is a real show stopper). She is a master at stealing cat food (apparently she climbs on the hutch where the kitties eat, a true feat for an elderly lady like herself). Josie often stops by after her walks for a treat. She loves just about any treat but she ADORES Beggin Strips (she could do a commercial for them). Most of all, Josie loves life and she seems to know how to live in the moment. I envy her that and hope one day to emulate her wisdom.

It seems/feels like a time of profound endings and beginnings. I don't even quite know what I mean by this, but I feel it deeply anyway. Some of these endings/beginnings are obvious. Tonight is New Year's Eve. The year 2004 is passing away and 2005 is sliding into it's place. I am glad to see 2004 go. It has been a good year for me personally in many ways. I am financially more stable and while I think my depression is still not under control, at least it is better. But on a grander scale, it has been a pretty bad scene - at least from my perspective. This nation's actions in Iraq make me profoundly ashamed for my country. The nature of the presidential election campaign was a disgrace, the out come a profound disappointment. I also doubt the validity of that outcome. There is a great deal of evidence of fraud in Ohio and Florida and other states. I am disappointed that there is no outcry about this, that two times in a row we are allowing Democracy to be obstructed. I am appalled by the ineptidue of the news media. I am even disappointed in Oprah. I still admire her deeply, but she seems, as she has become more shapely and beautiful, to have given away some of her depth of spirit. Or maybe I'm just jealous. But anyway, I am hopeful that the nations and citizens of the world will make better use of our time this coming year. I hope that perhaps the goodness of our species will find ways to overcome that which is baser. I hope that somehow the people of Iraq can recover from the "help" we have been giving them and that all the young American men and women who have been maimed in body and/or spirit, will find healing. I hope that perhaps the enormity of the current tsunami disaster in Asia will pull the world's nations together in acts of love instead of acts of war. On a personal level, I wonder if (and I guess hope that) some of my gloom is the sloughing off of old wounds and habits, that I am moving towards living my life more fully, even if I live it within the limitations of my disabilities. I guess time will tell.

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