31. Gifts Women Really Want


© Judi S. Kaminishi

Recently I got into a rather heated discussion with a friend of mine. The subject was about gift giving, particularly between couples. Now, is it just my opinion that men are more difficult to buy for than women? Do I hold this opinion because I am a woman? And, is gift giving really just about buying? Men! Pay attention, that’s your first clue.

For the sake of argument, let’s focus just on women. I will be the first to admit that we can be somewhat difficult to understand as a general rule. Do we really mean what we say when we say it? If we change our minds, is it forever or just for this one time only? Does "no" really mean maybe? Even the courts are continually arguing the validity of a "no" in certain cases of physical assault. You get my drift here. Yes, sad but true, many women are guilty of not communicating with clarity, even I may possibly be guilty, but I feel I do have a valid argument in point for my defense.

I was asked what I wanted for Christmas; I responded "nothing." I responded with this answer for two reasons; One, I sincerely was not in want of anything; Two, we had just taken a two week trip to Egypt and I felt that was a spectacular gift enough, and said so. When he wanted to go window shopping I thought that perhaps he was still mulling over the situation, especially when he pointed out certain things to get my response.

Of course this did not preclude me from enjoying the tradition of gift giving to him. On the day of gift opening with my family, I admit I was a little surprised that I received nothing from him. Honestly, I was not disappointed, but I was a little surprised. It is the very first time that a man has actually taken me at my word, when I stated that I did not desire a gift. This is a good thing, for the most part.

Several days later, on two specific and different occasions, two of my dearest friends, one male and one female, asked what I received from my enamorata. When I said "nothing" they didn’t believe me. I then found myself defending him and rationalizing why he really didn’t get me anything. They both argued that "something is wrong here," or that "he must really be cheap." "How else does one interpret such a non-action?" "A gift doesn’t have to be purchased, it is the thought after all."

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Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: View all related messages

4.   Mar 15, 2003 10:06 AM
In response to message posted by JKAMINIS:

I agree - no flowers. At least not cut flowers or corsages. (Well maybe hand picked.) My husb ...


-- posted by phoehne


3.   Mar 15, 2003 7:20 AM
In response to message posted by JKAMINIS:

15 March 2003
Comment 147175
jhoanna@manila-online.net
http://www.suite101.com/article.cf ...


-- posted by JKAMINIS


2.   Feb 5, 2001 12:01 PM
In response to message posted by omibusman:

Hi again Omibusman,
Please don't ask me to apply my logic to all women and men, she says smil ...

-- posted by JKAMINIS


1.   Feb 3, 2001 11:57 AM
Being an active listener and believing what women
respond to from direct questions about what they
want as a seasonal gift: I always get attitude.
It seems that the goal of the giving rests on our ...

-- posted by omibusman





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