21. Let's Talk About Sex
One of my favorite places to hang, when I have time, is at any bookstore where there is a large periodical rack. I love to peruse as many different magazines as possible. It’s a cheap, fast way to travel out of the country, out of the mind, so to speak. I don’t watch much television; so, it is another way that helps me to keep my fingers on the pulse of society. The media is so largely responsible for shaping our attitudes that in order to keep current, it behooves one to know what they are saying.
What never ceases to astound me is how many issues, of both women’s and men’s magazines, all contain articles regarding sex... how to, when to, why to, who to, if to, where to, etc., etc. It’s really laughable; with such a plethora of information, how come we’re not all experts? I’ll tell you why, are you ready? It’s easy to read books, magazines, attend lectures, see films, or even talk to close friends about sex; but it seems almost impossible to actually communicate with one’s partner/lover about the same subject. It seems, each of us still seeks clues or hints, anything helpful, that might help to ease the stigma of "asking for too much." I equate "asking for too much" with being able to tell the total truth and not feel judged as being hypercritical or unreasonable. In other words, the desire for the ultimate intimacy of sharing one’s deepest secret desires is, perhaps, asking for too much.
For decades, women have been taught that it is not proper to talk about, let alone, enjoy sex. Okay, so after years of oppression, women have burned their bra and begun to emerge from an area of total male domination: Playgirl was launched to counter with Playboy; new laws were enacted to combat sexual harassment when women entered the work force in record numbers; the long list continues. But ladies, there is still an ultimate challenge: how do we talk about sex, truthfully, to those nearest and dearest to us? How do we convince ourselves that men won’t think less of us when we demand equal rights in the bedroom?
Obviously, this problem is still faced by the newer generations, in spite of their sexual freedoms and attitudes. Proof positive is offered in the August issue of Cosmopolitan. Under the section, "Life Advice," it is suggested that it is okay to fib when your boyfriend asks: "Am I the best sex you’ve ever had?" Hmm, this bit of advice troubles me greatly. I mean, how many more centuries are women going to put on that happy face and act like they are satisfied if they really aren't?
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