I find constant complaining puzzling, and to be honest, quite tedious, bordering on tiresome. There are no age qualifications either, both young and old alike fall victim to this unflattering habit.
Most recently, a very dear friend of mine, in her early thirties, was sharing concerns about her husband's high blood pressure and cholesterol problems. Being most conscientious and supportive, she is doing all she possibly can to cook and eat healthfully; encouraging and participating with various internal cleanses, and sharing in a joint exercise regimen. He, also in his early thirties, is much too young to be dependent upon prescription medications, which in fact are causing some impotency problems. She has every right to be concerned and to complain, about his lack of discipline and constant cheating, with unhealthy food. Additionally, she worries that her regular carping is affecting their marriage.
Does this sound familiar to anyone? Actually, I think my friend is a little more ahead of things, by the mere fact that she is already looking at the long-term effects, if this particular type of behavior, on both their parts, continues.
I submit that it doesn't matter what the complaint is about, how justified, how irritating, or how irrational, if it is constant, it is destructive, to all parties concerned.
I suggest, to my friend, that it is her problem, not his. Her husband is an adult, capable of making his own choices; therefore, he must take full responsibility for himself, whether she agrees with his choices or not. It's understandable that she loves her husband very much and wants a long lifetime with him. Yet, if he continues in his self-destructive manner, chances are very good that he will put himself into an early grave.
Yet, she is his wife, not his mother, which brings up another point. Exactly why do men seem to behave in such childish behavior, without discipline and seeming to be uncaring of the consequences, from their conscious behavior?
I feel that many mothers make the grave mistake of not teaching their children to take responsibility, for all of their choices, when it comes to poor behavior patterns. Too often, too much slack is given and a child matures, without a true sense of having to make responsible choices for himself. (An example of how I worked, with my children is given in this article link:) http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/moth...
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