Why I Prefer The Company of Young Women

I am a 57 year old man who, until the past five years or so, was uncomfortable talking about numerous aspects of human sexuality, including my sexuality as a male. Thanks to regular truth telling talks about this subject with a trusted male friend, that has been changing. I have found that the more I acknowledge the sexual realities of my life and my maleness, the more thoughts which had been previously hidden from my awareness have come to the surface to be discussed. The result has been a greatly increased level of understanding of myself and my life, my sexuality, and other issues which are affected by my sexuality.

The reason most of us middle-aged people are single and seeking partners is because we have either been divorced by someone, or have divorced someone. After all the more fundamental reasons for divorces have been accounted for: physical abuse, untreated alcoholism, adultery and other besetting problems, there remains a substantial number of divorces that happened because men and women do not get along very well.

Perhaps we never did, and were never taught how to. However, the past 25 years has been the era of no-fault divorce and the rise of feminism. Never before have the two sexes been so openly involved in what could be viewed as a kind of civil war (men vs. women). This social upheaval has created a "win - lose" tension between the sexes which can make marriage very difficult, because most successful marriages emphasize cooperation over competition, teamwork vs. rivalry. Speaking as a male, I have met scores of women, most of them wounded by all of this as much or nearly as much as I have been. Candidly, they do not seem likely prospects for marriage or permanent commitment. And, the more honest I allow myself to be, I find it difficult to discover common cause or common ground with these ladies. Instead I have frequently felt taken for granted as a man, accorded minimal respect, and at other times I have also felt the static electricity of a competitive, "I'll get mine" kind of spirit. The result has been a nearly toxic environment.

For most of the past ten years I have worked with a majority of co-workers who are women, most of whom are 15 to 25 years younger than I. These women have issues and interests as women, but I found that being around them does not bring the same tension and competitive attitude that I have encountered with the women of my generation. When one of these women thanks me for something I say or do for them, their expression of thanks seems more heartfelt ("you didn't have to do that, but I really appreciate it") than the polite acknowledgment I get from women of my generation ("I'm acknowledging your gesture, but just remember, you still owe me.") It is natural to gravitate toward people who show some enthusiasm and appreciation for you as a person and regard you as a friend.

Go To Page: 1 2

Articles in this Topic    Discussions in this Topic