The age difference factor... The first couple of conversations revealed the age difference. Don is fourteen years older than I am. Age meant nothing to me. My first husband was ten years older than I was and at one time I dated a man forty years my senior. I didn't think it bothered Don much, until the day he wanted to play a little math game. We counted backwards from our current ages until I wasn't and he was fourteen. Sometimes it seems as though the age thing isn't that big a deal when compared to the interracial thing and to the religious thing, but it does tend to come up. I think his parents have a small problem with it, but not as large as the problem they have with the race. A lot of people have (without coming right out and saying as much) accused me of being a "gold-digger". I can't laugh enough when I hear this. Don gives 48% of his pay to child support (the ex hates me, BTW. I'm eight years younger than she is, I'm thinner, I'm black ... you name it!! Don quickly found out that she is a racist, among other things and is trying to teach this hate to her children). If I wanted the money, I would have chosen someone with more money at the end of the pay period.
Don volunteered early in our relationship (which was mostly telephone, as my computer crashed shortly after we met) to sign Lapis' birth certificate as his biological father. The "true" father was angry at the idea of having children. He wanted Lapis dead (abortion or whatever he felt he needed to do once the child was born). It took me a while to answer, (I was in shock I guess) but when I did, I simply told him what the law said, and how much time he would have to back out of the relationship. By then, however, I knew that I loved Don and his kids and that he loved me and mine. I would not have a problem with Don as biological father to my son. Don loves children (he got a vasectomy shortly after his youngest son was born ten years ago) and felt that he would have to settle for children not of his body, knowing he could love them just as though they were.
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