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Committing To A Younger Man

© Peggy LeTrent

This article was originally part of an ongoing weekly diary once posted online in 1997.

Initially there are several areas we older women struggle with once we love a younger man. We don't know how common those issues are among others like ourselves. Nor do we realize how fortunate we are. We only identify with being suddenly thrust into a world of unknowns, complicated by our own insecurities, and those feelings have left us hanging in emotional limbo.

Should I move or should he? Who sacrifices their job? What about my children? What if he changes his mind? How do I tell my friends and family? Will he leave me for another woman 10 or 20 years down the road? The list of questions seems endless.

The demons of insecurity continually rear their ugly heads until we silence them one by one. For some of us it means avoiding a life long commitment by justifying ending the relationship, all in the name of his best interests. And for others it means following our hearts, holding on tight and not looking back.

Age has little bearing on any relationship. It is what we as a couple feel toward each other that cements our future together. Any other interference on our part is self induced. When we allow our insecurities to rule the relationship, it fosters his fear of losing us. Once he loudly declares his love and commitment to us he expects it in return. As a result, he struggles with emotional issues brought about by ours when we hesitate.

Most men don't know how fragile the female species really are. We come with built in insecurities simply because of our God given emotional makeup. Add to that our individual pain suffered along the way and you have excess baggage that gets in the way of happiness where there are no rules to follow.

Unfortunately society has not helped our cause much. Despite this type of relationship always existing, it has only been recently that media attention has placed an emphasis on it through movies and books enough to broaden the awareness level. That leaves us a little more secure, but not enough to shout it to the world initially.

So the issues remain a struggle for the majority of couples who fall into this category. But I like to think about it this way. What we suffer now may be completely different five or ten years down the road. The next generation of couples like ourselves, could very well be considered the norm. Think about it...

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