Home » Partners & Parents » May-December Romances » Still Taboo? Come On It's The 90's.

Still Taboo? Come On It's The 90's.

© Peggy LeTrent

Before I became involved with a younger man, I never gave any serious thought to age gap relationships. I sympathized with movie heroine, Stella in "How Stella Got Her Groove Back". I agreed she should forget society's silly rules and go for it. It seemed like an easy and obvious choice because it was just a movie. Now facing this dilemma personally, I searched for the solution and didn't tell anyone why.

First I asked my closest friends if they had ever experienced a similar situation. People who I thought I knew well, who had been involved with younger men themselves, had no idea. One girlfriend, whose wedding I attended, revealed she was older than her husband, and went to great lengths to convince me it was only three years and eight months when he said four. She didn't think the age difference was anyone else's business and therefore never mentioned it. Another girlfriend wasn't trying to hide anything, but felt she didn't need to advertise their six year age difference either.

I realized as liberated as we women all claim to be, we are still bound by society's rules. What other reason could there be for this reticence on our parts to discuss this topic in our usual frank and open manner? It was very humbling admitting to myself that I was being just as hypocritical as others were.

Next I attempted to locate actual documentation stating women couldn't date younger men. I'm still searching. Some believe it is written in the Bible. And nearly everyone stated there is a biological or theological basis for this rule. I began believing it myself because my online searches yielded little information which left me more disheartened each day.

So there I was on the verge of a relationship that I wasn't sure I wanted and thought I shouldn't even be contemplating. As I tried to work my way out of it, my honey was not giving me the chance. If there ever was a man who was determined to get a woman to change her mind it was he. This was no callow youth who had no idea of what a woman wanted, but a confident man who knew just how to get me to sit up and pay attention. Despite my hesitancy and reluctance to consider any sort of intimate relationship, he was persistent.

After a few weeks of feeling like a cradle robber, the rebel side of me, I thought I had left behind in the '70s, kicked in. I thought about my situation and became angry. When had I become such a conformist that I let society tell me how to live and who to love? Who actually dictated these rules and why do we women feel bound by them? In 1999, on the verge of the next millennium, why is the topic of older women dating younger men still taboo? Is society so threatened by women as sexual beings that they think we should be de-sexed after a certain age?

The copyright of the article Still Taboo? Come On It's The 90's. in May-December Romances is owned by . Permission to republish Still Taboo? Come On It's The 90's. in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.