When Love Is Kept Secret...

Time and time again I hear from couples that have a problem with exposing their relationship to family and/or friends. The above quote is a simpler way of saying, your relationship and the pleasure you get from it is not as it would be if it were completely out in the open. While every couple has their reasons for not exposing their relationship, those reasons only perpetuate more problems down the road the longer the relationship is kept hidden. So why prolong the obvious? Why not lay it on the table, deal with conflicts as they surface, and grow as a couple in the process?

People are going to think the way they want no matter what you or I say or do. We protect no one by leaving things hidden. The only thing that is accomplished by hiding a relationship is that it allows the ones involved to continue leading a deceptive life. And as with any type of deception, it does not go away until we deal with it. And the sooner our relationship is out in the open, the sooner the conflicts can be dealt with.

Couples remain only as close as the level of honesty between them. While no one should dictate your life together but the two of you, others do play a role in how you handle secrets. If you chose to keep your relationship hidden, then when the secret does surface, there will always be the thought process by others that involves a certain level of loss of character for having kept it hidden to begin with and it will color things more negatively. That makes it harder for others to accept your relationship as a valid one because you have added deception to an already biased thinking process.

So what do you get out of being up front about your relationship with those who you know will not be supportive? You get to find out if your relationship can with stand the pressures of an outside influence for one thing. And for another you get to find out just how much you are willing to continue the relationship despite unacceptance. You will discover if you have what it takes to move with your heart or let others decide your future together. Above all else, you will have maintained your integrity the appropriate way.

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