Suppose the older wife suddenly experiences major health problems such as early menopause, which causes her sex drive to change, her moods to shift constantly, and/or causes her to gain excessive weight. Or suppose the younger or older husband discovers he has changed his mind about having children. And what if the younger husband expects his wife to have plastic surgery to stay younger looking longer or the older wife insists on maintaining an unhealthy control over finances, etc.
Believe it or not, all of these issues have cropped up in age gap marriages by couples who thought they had settled any possible age related problems they might encounter down the road. Which only reinforces how very important it is to really know the person you are marrying. And even then, there is no sure way of knowing how you might handle any one of these situations unless they became a reality.
The issue of menopause is not predictable because every woman experiences this natural process differently. Even under a doctor's care, a woman can be pretty hard to live with for several years due to hormonal changes. It's an adjustment some men aren't able to deal well with because they cannot separate the real personality from the health controlled one or they discover weight gain bothers them.
The issue of children crosses boundaries that effect the entire marriage relationship. The older man or woman who questions his or her ability to raise a child at that age fears their life expectancy may not match the child's growing up years. They question their level of patience to raise a child and cannot see themselves as being able to cross the generation gap when it comes to proper parenting. They feel the child will suffer ridicule for having a mother or father old enough to be their grandparent.
The issue of plastic surgery is rooted in selfishness and insecurity. If the younger man cannot accept his wife's appearance as she ages naturally, then perhaps he does not understand unconditional love or he doesn't really see his wife's true age to begin with. Initially, a wife's genetically prone, youthful physical appearance in an age gap relationship, is deceptive enough to blind some younger men so that their true feelings never surface until she begins to age.
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