Grand Illusions and Self Inventory

A few years ago, I wrote a book, and one of the chapter titles was "Age Is Only a Number, Baby!" I believed it then, and I believe it now. Some men are old at 25; others are young at 65. It's what goes on between the eyebrows and the hairline and not farther down. (Written by Ann Landers)

We all suffer from the grand illusion syndrome from time to time. Age only bares as a number when law dictates it and/or mathematical functions enter the picture. Genetics play a big role when it comes to physical appearance. And our mental attitude dictates how we present ourselves to others. So how is it that age factors into how others perceive our relationships? Since when does age decide who we are as individuals?

Genetics have always played a role in my personal life. I have never looked my age. Consequently, perceptions of me by others have been colored by this fact. Whether or not I let that effect my journey through life is debatable. But I do know it has effected what types of people were attracted to me in different parts of my life. My mindset pretty much matches up with my younger looking appearance, therefore it stands to reason that I would attract younger men at some point.

Once a younger man makes it clear he is interested in you relationship wise, you have to stop and take inventory of yourself. What is it he sees that is causing him to pursue you? Is it just your physical appearance or something else? And what if you can't answer these questions? Suppose a younger man has never been attracted to you before, leaving you with no past experience to draw from. Then what might you do to answer these questions?

For some it means moving ahead into foreign territory one step at a time in order to answer these questions. For others it may mean shoving aside a future of potential happiness simply because fear and insecurity dictates you entertaining the thought process at all. Which ever category you fit into, these questions must be answered some where along the way if the relationship is to grow. When this unanswered process prevents you from moving ahead in the relationship, you will either pursue the answers or reach a place where you must end the relationship all together.

Once these questions are satisfied, you then need to evaluate your perceptions on how dating a younger man might effect you. Lets face it...not everyone is comfortable with seeing a younger man with an older woman. To assume they are is not dealing with reality. People are very judgmental, full of preconceived notions, and just plain ignorant in certain things. To assume your relationship will be embraced with open arms by everyone is just not true. Sooner or later you will run across someone who does not see it as acceptable and they will make sure you know how they feel. So unless you have done your personal inventory in both of these areas, you will be hurt and/or be put into a situation whereby you will become defensive.

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