Difficulty Expressing Emotions Doesn’t Mean We Don’t Feel

Difficulty expressing emotions doesn't mean we don't feel, and in fact, what is labeled as a difficulty expressing emotions is, in and of itself, a discriminatory stereotypical predilection that creates barriers to understanding between those with Asperger's Disorder (AS) and those who are Neurotypical (NT).

The conclusion that an inherent difference within AS style of communication and expression is a difficulty assumes that we should all be the same. People with AS do not desire to be the same believe it or not. The healthy thing for each adult with AS to realize is their own potential to lead a productive, purposeful, and meaningful life that is satisfying to him or her within what individual normal is defined as being.

From the DSM-IV: 299.80 Asperger's Disorder

"Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:

• 1. marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures to regulate social interaction
• 2. failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level
• 3. a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people(e.g., by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)
• 4. lack of social or emotional reciprocity."

What is described as a "lack of social or emotional reciprocity" from the DSM-IV and "problems expressing empathy or comfort to/with others: sadness, condolence, congratulations, etc... and often perceived as "being in their own world" (social characteristics) along with a cognitive characteristic of "Difficulty in expressing emotions" by Roger Meyer in his article, "Asperger Syndrome Characteristics" illustrate what are often over-generalized pejorative stereotypes that can serve to complicate understanding about individual adults with Asperger's Syndrome (AS).

If you just take these descriptive traits literally, generally, at face value, and do not allow for individuality within them and give effort to understanding beyond mere description you may unfairly categorize someone as "disabled" when they are actually just differently abled.

If you are an adult with AS it is important that you not just believe that you cannot learn to compensate in the expression of your emotions, in your own way. I think that the way these traits are listed and described and taken literally, then applied to everyone, can leave many with AS feeling hopeless or allowing themselves to be defined by the difficulty that they have expressing emotion and forming friendships or relationships and working to reciprocate emotionally and socially.