It's Been Four Years

[Note: Hannah and I just celebrated her four year Adoption Day anniversary. We've both learned and grown and changed since I picked her up in Russia in November 1997. She had just turned six. From the beginning, she's been bright, curious, funny, and athletic. Parts of her have changed completely, however. She has been transformed from a poorly attached, rage-filled, controlling, traumatized child, into a warm-hearted, affectionate, well-attached child. She's been given wonderful talents and gifts from God. I'm confident that now, she will use them well and excel in life. -Susan Ward, mama to Hannah]

When I arrived in America to live with my mom…

I felt scared…totally scared. I thought my mom was going to be like my birthmom and betray me. But I was also happy to have toys, my own room, and nice comfy stuffed animals to cuddle up to when I was sad. My new surroundings were very scary. There were big expensive things like vases, shelves, a stereo, a piano--things you wouldn't see in Russia since Russia is poor.

A few weeks after I got here, I went to meet the rest of my family, my aunt, uncle, grandma, and grandpa. That was scary, too. After a while I got used to them and began to like being with them.

I didn't speak much English when I met my family. My aunt was pregnant and it was Christmas time. I think I got the Christmas story and my aunt's being pregnant mixed up since I kept talking about how baby Jesus was going to born into our family!

I thought school was neat and it was interesting to meet new people. My teacher helped me with a little bit of English. But after a while I learned English easily.

fter I had been in America for a while…

I learned lots of new things like roller blading and skiing in Colorado. I also did many interesting things like going to different states and cities to meet friends of my mom's.

I had to get used to my cat, Donegal. He used to run away from me when I came near him. Then he started to get a little used to me and I learned to be more careful with him. Pretty soon he loved me and I could walk up to him with my hand out and he would let me pet him.

Olga, our friend, tried to teach me Russian again because I forgot it, but I didn't really want to look back at my past and speak my past language. Also it was a bad time of my RAD (reactive attachment disorder). I was grumpy and mean a lot.

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