Snippets from the Life of an Older Child Adoptive Family

26 December 1998, here 13 months
For Christmas, I gave her "The First Seven Years in the Life of Hannah Olga Marie Ward," her life book. She was appropriately pleased and appreciative. Told me that it was much better than she ever expected. She seemed especially cognizant of the info on the "birth announcement" page where I told her birth weight and height, along with her 1st year milestones i.e. walked at 11 months. She made references over and over to all of that info for several days.

4 August 1999, here 20 months
Hannah called me to her room and said, "Will you snuggle with me? Will you say another prayer with me?" In the midst of my prayer she seemed to snuffle a little bit. I said amen, hugged her, and left the room. A few minutes later she told me, "You know, the reason I cried a little bit during your prayer was because I love you so much that I don't know how to tell you."

21 April 2000, 29 months
We made it until 1:30 today before she had a meltdown. Previous to that she had done strong sitting, drawing a picture of spring, picking up her room, strong sitting, practicing softball, grocery shopping, lunch. After lunch, I told her to wipe of the table and she lost it. She hurled herself at me. I said, "I guess you need a big hug." As I hugged her, she grabbed a huge handful of my hair and pulled some of it out.

14 February 2001
We're both doing very well! How nice to write that! Hannah feels good about her and I feel good about me. She's been working very hard on processing her grief and finding a better fit between her past and her present. And me, I'm excited about new plans and projects, and happy about the new me (or maybe it's the old me that's finding it's way back!).

6 March 2001
Hannah continues to do well, with only a few minor "flare-ups" this week. Most of her unsettled moments seemed to relate to her need to be near me, with me, attention from me, affection from me. It's as if I've been trying to fill an empty well for over three years now....but she still needs more. Our therapist commented that as our children begin to heal, they need to be filled with even more love, attention, and affection that is now filling the healed part of them. It's hard on us as parents because we're completely bonded to our children, and are getting tired of filling them up, over and over and over...

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