Successful Adoptive Parent Traits

All parenting is challenging. Adoptive parenting, however, adds additional challenges. I'm an adoptive parent, founder of a support group, writer, therapeutic tutor, and manager of a large website. Through these experiences I've met many parents faced with challenging situations regarding their older adopted children. How they face and conquer these issues is often dependent upon their inherent or learned ability to incorporate the following traits and abilities into their parenting approaches.

TEACHER
All parents need to teach and guide their children, but parents of adopted children are faced with additional teaching situations. Adopted children arrive into our families needing to be taught new things, and un-taught poor habits. Using examples storytelling, books, role-playing and more, you'll teach them about families, chores, consequences, affection, strangers, playing, emotions, grief, and more.

STUDENT
You'll think you've learned and read a lot before your child gets home. But after your child is home, you'll discover gaps in your knowledge and need to join on-line support groups, talk with other parents, and read and read. As a student-parent, you may need to learn about childhood grieving, learning differences, emotional disorders, the impact of early neglect, medications, blending past and present, and more.

RESEARCHER
You may be lucky enough to parent an adopted child with no major issues or differences. However, many children adopted from foster care or international orphanages, arrive home with varying issues to be sorted out. You'll find that the professionals that you seek assistance from will often be less familiar with these issues than you are. Many parents of adopted children, through intense research, become the "experts" on the issues relating to their children. The parents then use that knowledge to search out the correct experts, or even to educate the professionals.

FUN AND SILLY
Parenting brings out feelings of annoyance, frustration, and anger. Adoptive parents are sometimes faced with very challenging behaviors. An ability to laugh and be silly will help keep your sanity, and is a huge boon to creating strong attachment between you and your child.

ADAPTABLE
Your child will upset every plan and schedule you had. You'll need to have, or find the ability to adapt and change as your child grows, learns new things, and needs additional support.

STRONG INNER CORE
Family and friends may not support your decision to adopt. Schools may not understand your child's issues. Friends may desert you when they realize the depth of an issue you're dealing with. You need to be strong for you and strong for your child.

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