Every major change in life is based on many personal considerations. Adoptive parenting is no different. Am I ready? Do I have the financial resources? How will this alter my life? Am I comfortable with how my new life will feel?
Adoptive parenting by singles, however, adds additional considerations, some potentially positive, some possibly negative.
Challenges of single parent adoption
~ Some agencies (and countries, if you're adopting internationally) still won't work with singles.
~ No one to help with "instant breaks," those times when you just need to walk around the block or have 10 minutes to yourself.
~ No financial back-up if you should lose your job, or your company should close.
~ Only one parent to save for college educations.
~ The complication of any business travel you might do: arrangements for babysitters, notifying your child's teacher, and more.
~ Dealing with "the daddy (mommy) question." "Why don't I have a daddy?" "When am I going to get a mommy?"
~ You must cultivate a support network (babysitters, neighbors, friends, family) to help you in emergencies. It can be difficult to find the right people to provide what you need.
~ The perception that only children with two parents grow up to be responsible, productive citizens.
~ The potentially negative response from friends, family, and colleagues.
Advantages of single parent adoption
~ The pre-adoption process is easier including the homestudy, and related paperwork. The paperwork is very extensive for international adoption and with a single parent there's only one birth certificate, passport, proof of employment, etc.
~ Single parents have no disagreements over whether to even adopt or whether to accept a particular referral or not.
~ Depending on some children's backgrounds, it may be beneficial for them to have a parent of one gender or the other.
~ The child only has to learn the temperament and personality of one parent.
~ If your child has attachment issues or reactive attachment disorder, their bonding and attachment process is clearly focused on one parent, not split between two.
~ Disagreements between spouses as to parenting approaches are avoided.
~ Changes in parenting approaches can be implemented instantly without having to work toward consensus.
~ There's no chance for children to "play" one parent against the other.
~ Single parents can provide consistency in discipline.
~ Generally, children of single parents are often more helpful, competent, and responsible about helping around the house because everyone is required to pitch in to make the household run.
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