"At-Home Therapy" for Adopted Children

Depending on their ages, adopted children may arrive into our homes with various worries, insecurities, issues, or emotional gaps. Sometimes they are serious enough to require counseling to help them grow into healthy, well-developed, secure children. Other times, they just might need a little "at-home therapy."

In the three years that Hannah has been in my life (adopted at age 6, now 9), I've tried to provide her with opportunities to learn about families, become empathetic, express her emotions, and deal with her grief. I've listed a sample of the types of at-home therapy that we've done.

LEARNING TO PLAY
After three years in an orphanage, Hannah did not know how to play by herself. I had to teach her. I sat on the floor and played by myself, letting her watch. I set up stuffed animals and did skits, with all the voices and appropriate sounds. I drew pictures, all the while talking out loud to myself about what I was drawing and what I thought about it. I rolled cars across the floor, with loud vrooming noises, and created garages, bridges, and parking lots.

ADOPTION JOURNAL
Hannah's past is very much a part of her present. Even when she was barely able to write, age 6, I bought her what we called her Adoption Journal. I explained that it was a place where she could share her feelings about her birth family and about other adoption-related topics. I suggested that she could draw pictures, write letters, or write a list of words.

OUR STORY
The telling and re-telling of our story is part of our history. "Once upon a time there was a woman named Susan-- In Russia, there was a little girl..." In an effort to help affirm that she's my daughter forever, I always project the story into the future with positive speculations about getting a dog, college, us taking trips together, and me visiting Hannah at college.

FILL-IN THE BLANK
I write short four - five sentence stories with blanks to be filled in by Hannah. They related to a topic or issue that we've been discussing or that she's been stressed over. "One Saturday, there was a very sad dog named ______. He walked with his head down thinking about _____. After a long walk, he realized that he wasn't really sad, he was _____. He decided to go and talk to ______ about his feelings. After their long talk, he said, "______________________."

EMOTION GAMES

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