Attachment and Bonding Activities

As adoptive parents, it's our responsibility to foster the bond and attachment between ourselves and our new child. Whether our child is a newborn, a toddler, or an older child, those early weeks and months with us are critical to how they will perceive the world as they grow up. Don't assume the bond will just happen. Spend time and energy helping you and your child to develop the closeness that you both need and want.

-If your child is young, and not too heavy, carry her everywhere with you in a "snuggly." Turn her so she's facing you.

-Give hugs and kisses, even if your child protests. If they seem extremely uncomfortable with hugs and kisses, alternate pats on the shoulder, ruffling their hair, or tickling them, between the hugs and kisses.

-Take turns drawing pictures or letters of the alphabet on each others back.

-Comb your child's hair, especially after she’s taken a bath or shower.

-After her bath, wrap your child up tight in her towel, hold her on your lap, and pretend she's a baby by rubbing noses, stroking her cheek, and tickling her toes.

-Sit next to each other on the sofa or across from each other at a table and make funny faces at each other. Each one takes turns making a face and the other of you has to copy it.

-Take your child swimming. The splashing and holding on to each other in the pool, lake, or ocean is a great bonding activity.

-Stick notes or special treats in her lunch bag.

-Put a funny cuddly toy under her pillow for her to find when she goes to bed.

-Take her out for ice cream because it's raining (sunny, Wednesday, cold, hot).

-Turn on loud rock and roll and grab your child up and dance with her.

-Have a dessert dinner; serve cake, ice cream, cookies, etc.

These attachment suggestions are from the booklet, Older Child Adoption: Parenting Tips.

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