Your child most likely does not yet know how to live in a family. Her experiences are probably based on either orphanage life, a series of foster homes with differing family styles, or a dysfunctional or disruptive birthfamily.
Your child may need to be taught how to interact, show affection, help out, do chores, and share. This occurs through a combination of your role modeling, books you read to them, videos you select, and activities you create.
Below are a sampling of activities that you should modify to your own needs. They may need to be adjusted according to how long your child has been home, how old your child is, and her skills and abilities. Use these ideas as a starting point to create your own activities to aid in creating a family.
*Create on on-going story about a make-believe family. Each night, or on a certain night per week, add another episode. Let your child help determine various aspects of the story. You may want to add stuffed animals to represent the main characters. The more pizzazz you use, the better!
*Plan and grow a family garden. The discussions, decision, purchases, planting, weeding, and watering will create new bonds and encourage new types of interactions among family members.
*Play the board game, Game of Life. It includes many, although certainly not all, of the types of passages and decisions we all need to make throughout our lives. It even includes adoption as one of the life changes!
*Regularly read books about different types of families. Discuss how each family is similar or different to your own family. Share thoughts about the problems or emotions encountered in each book.
*Using an oversize sheet of paper, create a family drawing. Determine the theme or topic; then everyone pitches in with crayons, markers, or colored pencils and draws. Have everyone sign the drawing and hang it up for all to see.
These are just to get you started. What does your child need to learn? What do you all need to learn about each other? Find teaching moments and fun activities to do together to create a strong family.
For more adoptive parenting tips, especially for older children, check Older Child Adoptive Parenting
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