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Creating Lifebooks for Our Adopted Children

© Susan Ward

Lifebooks are an adopted child's version of a baby book. But, in many ways, they hold a level of added importance in the life of an adopted or foster child. A child who was adopted often has gaps in information about her past, along with multiple places she lived. A lifebook organizes and gives validity to her past, creates links to the various parts of her life, and connects her past to their present.

There is no right or wrong way to format a lifebook. And, there's no right or wrong information to include in a lifebook. Whether you child is home or not, you need to plan and create a lifebook. Don't put it off. The emotional impact that a lifebook can have on an adopted or foster child is profound.

Beth O'Malley is an adoptee who has written Adoption Lifebook: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child. Beth also maintains a website that shares tips and questions and answers about lifebooks. A few of her tips include: tell the truth; always start with the adoptee's birth, not their arrival day; allow your child to feel their sadness; always make copies of the lifebook; and allow your child to keep their lifebook in their bedroom.

When Hannah was seven, after she had been home from Russia with me for a year, I created her lifebook. I gave it to her for Christmas.

Overall, I covered her first three years with her birthfamily, her next three years in the orphanage, her transition to life with me in America, and her first year in America. By doing it after she had been here a year, I could conclude it with a list of her accomplishments while in America. Here's an outline of what I included:

~ Title page

~ Two-page written summary of The First Seven Years in the Life of Hannah

~ One page summary of facts and images from Russia

~ A birth announcement, that I created, including first-year milestones i.e. when Hannah sat up, walked, etc. (Hannah loved this page)

~ One page about the city where she was born, including a few facts and pictures

~ Two pages of Russian words and phrases

~ Birth family info

~ The schedule from the orphanage of her daily routine

~ List of Hannah's memories from the orphanage

~ Drawings (we got 4) she did in the orphanage

~ Orphanage pictures that I took

~ Referral photos of Hannah

~ A "New Family" section that included the letter I wrote to her in Russia, a photo of me, and one of our cat, Donegal

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