Grief, Loss, Depression: The Unspoken Challenges

Adoption...lonely, disappointing, disconcerting, stressful, sad.

We seldom discuss, or even acknowledge that adoption includes a plethora of negative emotions. These emotions can envelop parents and children.

Couples may choose adoption after dealing with issues of infertility. The depression relates to the loss of their dream of a biological child. Single parents may choose adoption as a means to parenthood because they have not found a partner or spouse. Their depression may be letting go of their dream of a two-parent family.

After adoption, parents are often surprised to find their anticipated excitement and happiness crushed under the weight of post-adoption depression. Similar to post-partum depression, this issue has only recently been acknowledged.

Adopted children are also confronted with issues of grief and loss. Whether adopted as newborns, toddlers, or older children, each child visits these grief and loss topics over and over throughout their lives.

Siblings of adopted children also face grief and loss. The structure of the family is being altered and there is a loss of how things were, and worry about how things will be.

Acknowledge that feelings of loss and grief are part of adoptive parenting, just as they will wind their way into many aspects of our lives. Find ways to express and share the grief. Read about others who have felt and survived similar types of loss and grief. Gather ideas, suggestions, and resources that will help you grow from your sense of loss and grief.

RESOURCES…

Helping Parents

Healing and Growing Through Grief

Post-Adoption Depression

Adopting after Infertility

Helping Children

Sad Isn't Bad

Helping Children Grieve and Grow

Aarvy Aardvark Finds Hope

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