Single Parent Adoption FAQ

Single parenting is hard, yet it's becoming more and more common for single parents to adopt. Below are the most common questions I'm asked about single parenting.

How did you decide?
I toyed with the idea for about five years. Then I gave myself a one-year time frame within which to decide one way or the other on becoming a single parent. During that year, I read, talked to people, prayed, and tried to imagine the specifics of my day-to-day life as a parent. At the end of the year, I decided "yes," and at the same time decided to adopt internationally.

What about all the challenges related to adopting a child internationally when you're single?
You do have to find an agency willing to work with you, and pick a country sympathetic to single parents. Each country has its own requirements relating to marital status, age of parent, and even--in the case of Korea, weight limitations.

As soon as I started the process, I loved being referred to as a "family." I didn't have to be part of a couple to be considered a family, even before I adopted!

The question of traveling overseas by oneself, or to take a friend or relative, is often a big issue. I decided to travel alone. First off, I've done a lot of traveling on my own, so did not feel particularly apprehensive (although traveling in Russia is nothing like traveling in places like France or Australia!). Secondly, I felt that by it being just me and Hannah from the beginning, it would be the same way we were going to live our life...just us.

My only disappointment about traveling alone is that my memories of the experience are very sketchy...it was all such an emotional experience... If I had traveled with someone, we would have talked about occurrences, helping to imprint them in my mind, and they would have noticed and observed things I didn't.

What's the best part about being a single parent?
Not having to negotiate your parenting approaches! When Hannah and I go through difficult times, I decide on a new approach...and do it! I don't have to explain or get consensus. I just do it. And if it doesn't work, I make a change and keep going.

What's the hardest part about being a single parent?
For me, it's traveling out of town on business: finding a babysitter you trust, helping Hannah to realize I'm only gone for a short time. And when things go wrong and you're out of town, i.e. there's a storm and the electricity goes out, you just have to trust that your babysitter is handling it well.

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