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Listen

© Carol Gossard

My children and I are about to make a major life change. We are moving; not just around the block or to a different city, but to a different country. This is a huge step for us, as I grew up in this town and so did my children. Things have been very hectic these last few weeks as we ready ourselves for our journey.

The children have been quite restless. Having ADHD, my oldest son has been extremely anxious about all the activity that has been taking place lately. My preoccupation with getting everything ready to go, packing and taking care of last minute details, has led me to be a bit insensitive to his need for a little extra attention during this hectic time.

During one of our busy afternoons as I hurried to pack a box of clothing for the Good Will thrift shop, I felt a tug on my shirt. I turned to see the frustration on my sons face as he asked, "Did you hear me?" "Yes, I heard you," I replied. "What is your answer, mom?" I fumbled for words, I had no reply for him. My thoughts were not in the room with him, but miles ahead on all I had to do over the next few days.

"Okay, you heard me, but were you listening to me?"

How do you respond to that??? I set aside my task as I realized it was time to sit down and regroup, think about what was most important at the time. There was so much to be done in a very short time, but was it worth loosing touch with the here and now?

We sat together in what space we could find on the cluttered floor of his bedroom and I LISTENED as he talked about the move; his concerns of meeting new friends, leaving old ones behind, and the excitement of a whole new life ahead of him. He got up, eagerly began packing his suitecase and exclaimed, "I'm ready, let's GO!!"

How often do we really listen to each other; we hear, but are we really listening? I came upon this passage in a magazine, it seemed appropriate at the time so I printed it out and posted it on the refrigerator to keep me grounded.

LISTEN:

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are

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