Romance and ADHD

I've been thinking about how Valentine's Day is the season for love and romance and all things lovely, but when you have ADD, sometimes romance is easier said than done! With ADDers having a divorce much higher than that of non-ADDers, chances are you're a little concerned about your romantic interest. I wanted to explore some ways to make your love life linger longer, so here's some practical advice for those with romantic notions today!

*Be forgiving. We ADDers seem to take things very personally. I tend to think that people who are whispering are talking about me, and that people who are laughing are laughing at me. Because we can be hypersensitive, we need to be aware that others don't see things the same way. We may get upset or be concerned about an issue that doesn't even exist - we've let our thoughts run amok - we need to remember to give our romantic partners the benefit of the doubt and forgive for things both real and imagined by our creative ADD minds. The other side of this is to forgive yourself. We come to many relationships with our own ADD hang-ups - low self-esteem is common because we believe we've failed - at other relationships, at work, at school. Don't burden a new relationship with old baggage. You can forgive yourself of the past and go on to the future.

*Improve your communication. Face it, it's hard to have a relationship with someone when you never listen to one another. ADDers have a hard time with this one. People talk so slowly, they won't go ahead and say what they want to say and be done with it. While they're thinking of what to say next, our minds have wandered to 12 other subjects and we can't remember what it was we were talking about with our partner in the first place. This is a difficult problem to master, but you can improve how you listen to your loved ones. You'll need to enlist their help and get them to periodically reel you back in every five minutes or so. It will be difficult at first, but making yourself pay attention to your loved one will improve your relationship dramatically.

*Create excitement in your love life. We ADDers are a thrill-seeking bunch. You'll get bored in your relationship if you don't create some excitement. Do something different - be intimate in the kitchen or den instead of the bedroom or wear sexy underthings and surprise your mate. Come on, you're creative, you have ADD, you get the picture! Spice up your love life instead of trading your mate in when it gets a little boring for you.

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