It's Not Just for Boys

When I was growing up, girls didn't have ADHD. Or so they thought, anyway. I'm sure there are still many women who beat themselves up and feel guilty for things that they simply can't help. I know I did. Sometimes, I still do, but I have a reason for my forgetfulness and disorganization and I know what it is. If I stop and think, I can tell myself that it's ADHD, not something I should feel guilty about.

It was such a relief for me to realize that there was a reason for my (for lack of a better word) "quirkiness". It was liberating. I discovered why I have such trouble filing papers and keeping the house clean and why I blurting out things I really shouldn't! With medication and some training, I can keep my house clean and I am thinking a little more about what I say before I say it. I think I'll still leave the filing to my husband though!

Women have some unique issues with ADHD. For one, no one thought we could have it until just a few years ago. Girls are not as hyperactive as boys and are less likely to be disruptive, so it was generally thought that ADHD was only something that affected males. In recent years it's been discovered that it affects both genders. Girls, I think, tend to develop better coping skills. I know I did. I tried hard to please my teachers at school and ended up making pretty decent grades, but when I came home, things were a mess. My room was a wreck; I was often grumpy and irritable. I could only hold it together for so long and since I had to hold it together for school, I let myself loose at home. I think there are a lot of girls out there who experience some of these same things. And I think many of them still go undiagnosed.

Women are expected to do a lot of things that are very difficult for someone with ADHD. Many women are expected to run their households, keep the house clean, plan and cook meals, plan events, create an attractive home, keep the children organized, help with homework, shop for clothing, groceries and other household items, pay the bills, manage the money and I could go on and on and on. Boy, that list makes me tired just thinking about it. But, these tasks are expected and even required of many women. Single mothers probably have it hardest. They have no help at all with these tasks. If these women are unaware of their ADHD, then they can feel very guilty about the things they seem unable to do. I know I gave myself a number of guilt trips before my diagnosis. I would say things to myself like, "You are a college graduate and you can't even clean up the living room?" If you say these kinds of things to yourself enough times, you can become depressed and the ADHD can then be even harder to discover.

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