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My Personal Challenges with ADHD

© Valerie de Armas

I used to think that everybody was like me - and, to a certain extent, everyone is. That's the hard thing to explain about ADHD. If I tell someone that I'm disorganized, say things without thinking, get bored easily, have lots of interests and feel like I'm just a little different from everybody else, then they will likely tell me that I'm describing them, too.

It's more than just being a little disorganized, though. Before my diagnosis and treatment, my house was disorganized to the point that I was constantly embarrassed by it. It isn't pleasant to live in the fear that someone might come over. I certainly never invited anyone. I don't mean there were a few things out of place, either. I had piles of book, papers, clothes and just stuff covering every surface. In talking with other ADDers, I've learned that many of us like things out where we can see them - if we can't see them they're not there. Our forgetfulness prevents us from finding things that are put away - we can't remember where we put out things.

If you're not familiar with ADD, you might think that we just need to develop a filing system. I'm here to tell you, I can't do it! Here's how I explain it to my husband. I start to file the papers on our desk. I pick up the auto insurance statement. One month I might put that under "Insurance," another month I might put that under "Auto" another time, it may go under "Bills" or "Household Expenses" or something else that makes sense at the time. I can't remember from month to month which it should go in and after awhile it just gets too much of a task to try and go through each file and find out what really makes sense.

Grocery shopping provided an interesting experience for me, too. I would go out and buy groceries. I'd get them home and get them inside. By this time, I'm getting really tired of this grocery shopping task. I know I have to get the cold stuff into the refrigerator, so in it goes and all the other bags are in the kitchen floor. I'm thinking I'll do it later. I am tired of the grocery task - it's time to move on to something else.

For years, I thought I was lazy and just needed to get a grip on myself. I am smart, I'm a college graduate, why can't I clean my house or put away my groceries, or file my important papers? I felt like a complete failure - even though I was successful at many things. I was a very successful employee and did a great job wherever I worked - but would become dissatisfied after a relatively short time. (I've never worked for a company for more than 2 years!) I have finally found my niche in direct sales and freelancing. These things are easier for me because I can set my own schedule and I don't get bored as easily - there are always different tasks to accomplish.