Lou's Frustration with Religion

I have a friend, Lou, whose wife accuses of being anti-religious, since he rarely attends church services. Lou was telling me that did’t think that’s actually true. In spite of growing up Baptist and such, and going thru 12 step programs, he thinks that he can be very serious about religion. When he does attend services, he tends to get passionate about what is said in the sermons and the messages in the music.

Lou has told me that, at times, services can depress the heck out of him, too. Being sober for just a few years so far, the messages of sin, guilt, and shame can really bring down his mood. Discussing this with each other, we both agreed that church services aren't intended to bring down members of the congregation. Rather, they are supposed to lift up people's spirits by reinforcing the message of faith, forgiveness, and hope. How did Lou happen to get the concept of church services so backwards? And why does he feel so punished and beaten during nearly every service he attends?

We both reviewed some of his past history, his parents and the home where he grew up, and the church where he got his initial experiences at worship and organized religion. Lou pointed out to me that he compares going to church next to going to the dentist. Going to a dentist for a checkup is much more satisfying, and less painful, when one has taken care of one's teeth. Likewise, being good and caring for one's soul can mean a more pleasant experience at church. And, of course, the opposite is true as well. Lou says that he learned to be very afraid of church services, especially when the sermon was about sin and damnation. As a young boy, he says that he spent numerous services at church, feeling very uncomfortable, worrying about the various sinful things he did the week before. Surely, they were tiny 'sins' as they were those done by a boy, such as taking extra cookies when he was told not to by his mother, or sneaking at night, trying to read his favorite adventure books with a flashlight when he was supposed to be asleep. Small as they were, Lou's sins felt big enough for him to worry about and to develop anxiety around during church.

His concepts of sin and punishment were also strengthened at home by his parents and sisters. Spiiling a drink or forgetting to mow the yard were examples of 'sins' that were usually punished verbally and nonverbally, along with the threat of being unworthy of going to "heaven" when the time came. AFter years and years of this treatment, it makes good sense that Lou associates the "good boy" with being heaven-worthy, while the "bad boy" is paired with eternal damnation in Hell.

Go To Page: 1 2

Articles in this Topic    Discussions in this Topic