Recovery: Does it Have to be a Struggle?

I think the word to describe it is "ornery" which, to those who don't know the word, means something like 'very stubborn'. Like many other kids, once my parents told me not to do something I decided that was more reason than ever to do it. When they told me not to eat the cherry-flavored cough drops as if they were candy, that's what I did. And when they told me how evil it was to smoke cigarettes, I did that too.

Over time, we can learn to resist general wisdom, and begin to think that we know better than certain authorities, our parents being one example. When there may come a time to stop doing the drugs or alcohol, because we've learned that those bad habits are getting the better of us, resisting such temptations can be extremely difficult to manage. Resisting temptation certainly has some of its roots in organized religions, but that's a subject for another day.

Human beings, as any living creatures, are beings of action, and it seems that trying to change a habit is simply very difficult for anyone. Trying to change, trying NOT to do something, something we've been doing for years, such as using drugs, rubs against our nature. Trying to change takes conscious efforts, self-knowledge and self-awareness to mindfully NOT take that drink or light up that cigarette. One has to keep this new direction in mind, as one tries to stop drinking or smoking, but in this consciousness of trying to stop comes the alternate option of choosing to start up again. I know when I try to stop smoking and stay stopped, I obviously consider the original behavior of smoking again. Perhaps it is a form of paradox in the way we think. I honestly don't know for sure.

There's a word, "control", which is a commonly used concept in discussions of drinking and recovery from drinking. I notice the word used quite often among those who are in the early stages of considering sobriety.

"But, I have my drinking under control", or whatever. Or, "If he could only control his drinking...". Along with this idea is that of the "white-knuckles" of keeping our craving for booze "under control" during early sobriety. To clarify, those folks who are just beginning their sobriety very often express how difficult it is for them to resist the urge of drinking again. For many, abstaining from one's favorite drug of use can be foremost in their thinking for days, weeks, and months. Trying to stay sober can mean not going to the bars and lounges they visited habitually before, driving by the liquor stores without stopping, and even breaking up old friendships from the people with whom they used to get drunk. For most, it is indeed a struggle, but depending on one's point of view, it doesn't necessarily have to be so hard, so tough.

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