Sometimes these Holiday Blues..

I don't know about you, but I usually get bummed out by the Christmas holiday season. Maybe it's the recent time change, with the daylight hours becoming shorter, or maybe it's the colder weather, where it is much less appealing to work outside in the yard. It might be that I am feeling some blues about this next Christmas, because so many of our older relatives have passed on and aren’t here to talk to anymore.

For some friends of mine, those that are alone or just lonely, Christmas tends to help them feel even worse, especially when they see all the special programs on television and the constant advertising depicting young, affluent, happy couples (actors) pretending to be enjoying themselves.

It probably doesn't matter exactly what the causes are: all I know is that, having long term depression, there are days when I better pinch myself now and then, to wake up and notice that some blue, dark times are here or coming soon. Being able to “notice” at all is in itself a step of progress. In contrast, there are many people with depression who may never grow or make it to that point, due to no fault of their own, of course. For those unfortunate folks, the holidays can put them into a personal funk that can resemble a large, thick-skinned balloon that encompasses their thoughts, feelings, and weeks, trapping them inside this sad, darkness until somehow they can get out of it and back into life.

Before some of us stopped drinking, we could use alcohol to self-medicate, or seemingly "help" the dark days slide by much faster. In this way, we would use drugs and alcohol to soothe or tranquilize our senses, to keep out the past memories or the present reality of the holiday season, be they all good or bad. We might have thought that drugs and alcohol could shield us from the bad times and stimulate us toward having even better times. But in truth we weren’t so much protecting ourselves from outside dangers as we were isolating ourselves from positive human contact. As time wore on, more and more of our “parties” became nothing more than parties of one, drinking and using by ourselves, with ourselves.

Sure, we used to feel more loose, more boisterous and probably much too loud during those holiday parties of yore, when we lifted martini glass and one or two mugs or more. And most of what happened at those parties never made it into long term memory, not nearly as long-lasting enough as the mornings after. And for those of us who were seasoned drinkers, we soon discovered that hangovers could be cured by additional drinking. Of course, when you reach that point in your drinking or using career, you get very close to the point of no return.

Go To Page: 1 2

Articles in this Topic    Discussions in this Topic