Taking fertility drugs can exacerbate the emotions that are felt by women. This is because of the way that the medications affect the hormone levels, causing mood swings and depression, among other side effects. Seeing a negative pregnancy test after a cycle on clomid may cause anger, depression, and the woman may even blame herself for not conceiving. The man, if he is unable to express his own feelings, may appear to the woman as uncaring, or disinterested in her feelings, or in their quest to conceive.
One woman that I know had her husband taking her Basal Body Temperature each morning and she would later call him at work to find out what time he had taken it so she could record it on her fertility chart. She became very concerned when her charts did not show ovulation, and her temps were 'all over the place'. As she discussed her fears with her husband, he asked why knowing what time the temperature had been taken was so important. As she explained to him how charting worked and what it told her, he admitted to 'making up' the time that he had taken her temperature. He just thought she was 'curious'. Because of the miscommunication, they effectively 'lost' a cycle and if it had continued, would have been seeing a doctor for unnecessary testing.
So, while this woman was reading all the signs as the roller coaster passed them, her husband didn't even realize they were there. They are learning to communicate with each other, as all couples should. Hopefully they will be able to avoid the blame game and the anger, as well as the depression that can sneak up and strike so hard.
You are on the emotional roller coaster, but you do have the power to control part of the ride. You even have the power to get off the ride, but that is another article. You can control the choices you make, you can recognize the warning signs of severe depression, and you can communicate with your partner. Although you cannot 'stop' being infertile, you can make the best choices possible and know that you decide which turn, twist, loop, or drop to take next on this emotional journey.
