The Emotional Roller Coaster
The journey of infertility is much like a ride on an emotional roller coaster full of twists, turns, loops, and sudden drops. Only with a real roller coaster, you know that the ride will end, and that cannot be said for all that deal with infertility. Our ride may last for years, and for many with no end in sight.
The ride actually starts before infertility is diagnosed or even suspected. It starts when the choice is made to try to conceive. The journey of preconception has it's own twists and turns, but every couple that enters the ride will not have the same stops, drops, and loops. Yes, for about 10 to 20 percent of American couples, the ride picks up speed and may feel completely out of control, when the doctor says the dreaded words "there seems to be a fertility problem."
You don't really remember much for the next few hours after hearing those words; this is the first sudden, and unexpected, drop that the roller coaster takes you on. Your heart stops and you feel totally numb. It does not matter 'who' has the fertility problem, all you recall is that there is one.
This drop is the emotional drop of disbelief that every couple will deal with in their own way. Many couples may deny the diagnosis and continue trying to conceive on their own, but others will quickly pass through the disbelief and march straight to the 'action' phase of this emotion packed ride. These couples have usually suspected, and therefore already dealt with, denial of a possible infertility diagnosis.
With the diagnosis should come a few warning signs that the couple must read and understand. The roller coaster has picked up so much speed though, that it is the rare couple that sees the signs. "Warning - Depression Ahead!" shouts the sign that is almost too small to see as another corner whips the coaster around. "Blame Game Starts Here!" another sign states as our stomachs are left behind from the ferocious drop.
More signs loom ahead, the printing on them almost too small to read..."Stress Hits Hard - Late Ovulation" "Negative Pregnancy Test - Depression Strikes" "Doctor's Appointment - Miss Work, Again". Yes, the signs are coming faster and faster, and choices must be made on which turn, twist, loop, or drop to take next. While riding the roller coaster the couple must be able to communicate with each other, with their doctor, and many times with their family, friends, and co-workers.
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