My name is Frances Powers, and I am 49 years old. When people ask how I am, I tell them I'm doing all right except that I'm losing my mind.
Four years ago I was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's. Some people think that only old people get Alzheimer's disease, but that is not true in my family. My mother was 45 when she was diagnosed. Among my eight siblings and me, four of us are already showing symptoms. And there's a 50 percent chance my two children, Jessica, 18, and Philip, 16, will develop the disease.
Before the onset of my symptoms, I did everything from cleaning to paying the bills, I even took care of the house repairs. I had a very high mechanical aptitude and was one of IBM's first female computer repair people in the Boston area. I worked until Jess was born. After that I handled everything around the house as well as the kids' schedules, doctors' appointments, dentists' appointments. I was the memory for the whole household.
Then I started having what I called "brain blips." in the middle of a sentence, my mind would go blank. The thought would just disappear, maybe to return in a few seconds, or not at all. If you've ever lived by the ocean, it's like when the fog rolls in. You can feel the emptiness inside.
Steve, my husband, tried to tell me he thought something might be wrong. This caused great conflict between us. I knew what he was implying, and I didn't want to look at it. Finally, I called one of my sisters and described to her what was going on. As I did, the two of us realized what was happening, and we both started crying. It's the worst feeling I ever had. It meant the beginning of the end.
The first year of knowing was the hardest. I knew what I was walking into. I took care of my mother, and I watched her vanish as a person, just as my children are now watching me drift away day by day. When I told them I had Alzheimer's they cried and said, "You won't know us!"
