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Depression and Lupus

© Karyn Moran Holton

The holiday season can be wonderful. Christmas lights are everywhere, menorahs blaze cheerfully from windows, children are excited, and see magic everywhere, and the promises of the new year to come can be thrilling. However, for people with a chronic illness like lupus, scleroderma, or rheumatoid arthritis, the holidays can be a time of utter loneliness, depression, and even despair. This is especially true for the "letdown" period after the holidays. The New Year has come and gone, and there are at least 3 months of winter looming ahead, with dreary days, and cold weather.

At this time of year, more people are treated for mental illnesses and severe depression, and suicide rates escalate dramatically. Other factors that can contribute to depression are Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) in which a person becomes depressed during the winter months, and "cabin fever" when a person who is partially disabled is unable to leave home due to snow, ice, and winter conditions, and chronic pain that is aggravated by the cold and damp weather.

Depression can overwhelm even the most "together" and "happy-go-lucky" individual. So it's not surprising that even a "mild" case of depression can be traumatic, or even dangerous, to a lupus patient. So what do you do if you, or someone you love is being consumed with depression, or even "the blues"?

Here's what NOT to say, from a great site on depression (Link at the bottom of this article):

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Here is the list from contributors to a.s.d.:

"What's *your* problem?"
"Will you stop that constant whining? What makes you think that anyone cares?"
"Have you gotten tired yet of all this me-me-me stuff?"
"You just need to give yourself a kick in the rear."
"But it's all in your mind."
"I thought you were stronger than that."
"No one ever said life was fair."
"As you get stronger you won't have to wallow in it as much."
"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps."
"Do you feel better now?" (Usually said following a five minute conversation in which the speaker has asked me "what's wrong?" and "Would you like to talk about it?" with the best of intentions, but absolutely no understanding of depression as anything but an irrational sadness.)
"Why don't you just grow up?"
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself."
"There are a lot of people worse off than you?"
"You have it so good, why aren't you happy?"