An Introduction to Attachment Parenting© Jeri Carr
Aug 25, 2000
In our materialistic world, children learn from birth that things bring contentment. Babies who need comfort have a pacifier popped into their mouth. Babies who crave human contact are put into bed with a shirt that mommy has worn or with a stuffed animal that has a recording of another mommy's heartbeat inside it. Babies are routinely put in strollers and left in bouncy seats and car seats for long periods of time instead of being carried in the arms of their mother. It's common for caregivers to feed babies bottles of formula while mothers are busy making money that all too often goes for simply materialistic desires. Mother substitutes abound in our culture, and it appears that using them is the norm.
In our culture it's popular to think that the end justifies the means--to think, for instance that letting a baby cry-it-out alone in his bed justifies the end of potentially having a baby who sleeps through the night at a young age. This pragmatic attitude is also seen when parents let their baby cry and refuse to feed him even when he shows clear hunger cues such as gnawing on his fists in order to get him on a schedule (or to show their baby who is boss) or slaps their exploring baby's hand to keep him from touching something breakable.
These attitudes toward parenting little children have led to a society that doesn't realize the treasure that children are. This society expects even babies to comfort themselves and forces unnatural and dangerous independence on children who are not ready. We have children who are turning earlier and earlier to drugs, smoking, and boyfriends and girlfriends to find the love and acceptance they don't find at home. There has got to be a better way, a more gentle, attached way of parenting that will bring better results. Many parents feel they have found this way. It is an ancient, beautiful, natural way of parenting, and it often goes by the term "attachment parenting" because it helps to build a healthy, strong attachment between children and their parents. The phrase "attachment parenting" was coined by pediatrician and father of eight William Sears. It has come to mean many different things to different people, but it basically means trying to get to really know your baby and trying to meet his needs in the best way possible. This involves listening to your heart, a.k.a., your mothering instincts, so this type of parenting is sometimes referred to as "instinctive parenting."
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