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It Takes A Villiage to Lower A Child's Stress

© Julie J. Murelle

Running after fireflies on a cool summer night, ice cream cones play tents and endless possibilities. Security, happiness and love from two parents. Was your childhood filled with food, clothes, shelter and not a care in the world or yelling, pain, hardship, and loss. What are your memories of childhood? How did those around you help you to process and deal with the inevitable hardships?

Childhood should be a time of carefree joy and memories to last a lifetime, in theory. Okay, we all know that every family has it's problems and woes, but how do you help your kids deal with the problems when they become overwhelming? You don't have to be a parent to read this. If you have any kids in your life, be it a godchild, or a niece or nephew, or a grandchild. My children's grandparents and aunt have been visiting this week and although we were all excited about this, there is always the time when the guests must go home. My daughter has a very hard time with this. Her aunt, whom she adores, left yesterday and even though her grandparents are still here, she was very sad. Distraught is more the reality of it. I let her cry and get it out and when she was a little calmer, I talked to her and I listened. Her concerns were the sadness of missing her aunt and when she would see her again. She really was having trouble stopping crying. I told her that I understood her feelings, I told her about how I felt as a child when people I loved had to go back home. We called her aunt so she could tell her how she was feeling and be reassured of her aunts love for her and so that they could devise a plan to make her feel better. They decided to email each other once a week. We are fortunate that many of our relatives live really nearby but for the ones who do not, we have to create a different approach. She has another aunt, who she also adores who lives in another state. That auntie sends her little packs of gum and pictures from fun times together and calls especially to speak with her. And Guess what, to all of you out there who do not have kids of your own but who may have a nieces and nephews, the more you put into caring for that child's feelings and helping them to have a lower stress life, the benefits are great! Here is a child who thinks that you are a hero, a child you can watch grow up and know that you had a part in the wonderful person they have become, and as an adult, this child will carry this bond with you! It is a great thing all ways around, but that means dealing with the happy and the sad. It means keeping your word and putting forth that extra effort!